Tonight's Entertainment
Thanks to the freedom-smothering
Patriot Act, I am now able to listen to any telephone conversation anywhere in the world. I
could be listening to terrorist agents plan their next hideous attack. However, that kinda stuff gets old real quick. Instead, I'm eavesdropping on a conference call in California...
Arnold - I haf callt dis meeteenk to discuss de upcoming recawl election.
Bustamante - Uh, we know that Arnold. That's what you said in the e-mail...
Arnold - Shut up, you idiot! I'm giving some background!
Mary Carey - Background? Is that when you're on your back and laying on the ground?
McClintock - Silence, dirt-leg! Please let the "Kintergarden Cop" finish.
Arnold - Tank you. De voters of de Goldun State face un very difficult challenge in just a few short weeks. Dey have to choose dist a sinkle one of da scores of candidates on da ballot.
Mary Carey - Did someone say
"Scores"?
Ueberroth - Would you just let the man finish, you fucking pig-whore? Jesus Christ...
Arnold - Anyvay, ve need to narrow down da field a bit. De avergae California voter is too stupid to figure out any ballot dis complex...
Bustamante - The ballot is really quite simple, Arnold.
NO to the recall!
YES to Bustamante!!
Ueberroth - That's has got to be the stupidest fucking political slogan I've ever heard. And I was around for "Log Cabins and Hard Cider"!
Mary Carey - Hey guys: Is it a bad thing when your labia dangle between your knees?
Larry Flynt - Garble murmur gurble slobber garble blither...
Mary Carey - No silly! It does
not come with a little wheelchair ramp!
Arnold - Shut up! Ve need to fix dis problem. Ve need a solution. Like my fazzer always said, a
final solution is always best...
Bustamante - Okay, how about this:
NO to the recall!
Yes to
pintos y cheese!!
McClintock - Holy balls. You're the poster-boy for Prop 187, Bustamante.
Arnold - Aaargh!! I feel like breaking something. Where da hell did der Simon go?
Bustamante - Okay, okay:
NO to delivery!
YES to DiGiorno!!
Arnold - Dat's it. I'm now for concealed hantguns...