Things to do today

I'm so glad Karl provides me with a list of things to do. It really helps quite a bit. Here goes:

1 - Look into mirror and say: "I support nuclear terror." Smirk. Wink. Repeat.

2 - Continue to stare blankly into mirror. "I support the people of Iran. They deserve the right to vote for their leaders, just as we Americans do. And like the people of the great state of Florida, their votes deserve to be counted, eventually. Long live the Mullahs!" Repeat.

3 - Masterbate to blown-up photo of own twin daughters. Deny ever doing so. Have a Coors Cutter.

4 - Kiss Laura in public. Deny ever doing so. Have a Coors Lite. Repeat.

5 - Go back to bed. Karl will handle it from here.

Let me tell ya'll once again: This is one tough job!