Monday, October 31, 2005

It Be Racism!

How dare the DNC refer to my new Supreme Court nominee as "Scalito!" That's a vicious ethnic slur!

I love Italian-Americans. I have always had a special place in my heart for dagos, wops, and guineas. Even though, as we all know, they are part eggplant...

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

People Hate Me!

My job approval rating is only 37%! That's, like, lower than my IQ!

WTF, Karl? You need to chill with this endless grand jury testimony stuff, and focus on what's really important: Telling me how to be President!