Friday, June 27, 2003

Things to do today

I'm so glad Karl provides me with a list of things to do. It really helps quite a bit. Here goes:

1 - Look into mirror and say: "I support nuclear terror." Smirk. Wink. Repeat.

2 - Continue to stare blankly into mirror. "I support the people of Iran. They deserve the right to vote for their leaders, just as we Americans do. And like the people of the great state of Florida, their votes deserve to be counted, eventually. Long live the Mullahs!" Repeat.

3 - Masterbate to blown-up photo of own twin daughters. Deny ever doing so. Have a Coors Cutter.

4 - Kiss Laura in public. Deny ever doing so. Have a Coors Lite. Repeat.

5 - Go back to bed. Karl will handle it from here.

Let me tell ya'll once again: This is one tough job!

Thursday, June 26, 2003

Fucking Blogger

I had to have Rove figure out this new system for me. It's too confusing. Especially since I'm presently hammered out of my mind.

Damn you, cyberspace! I'd MOAB your ass, if only you existed in the physical world!

Monday, June 16, 2003


They're surrounded by the US military and a revolution is brewing internally. If democracy breaks out, do I get carved on Mount Rushmore before or after I leave office?

Thursday, June 12, 2003


What's so wrong about telling a little fib in order to go to war? The American people wanted it! Oh, and the Israelis too...

Friday, June 06, 2003


Rove tells me Jenna got her "hood" pierced. He says she even showed him. Don't ask me why it's supposed to be cool to disfigure a car like that...

Wednesday, June 04, 2003

Let's Give Peace A Chance

And if it doesn't work out to my liking, I'll kill them all. Muahahah!