Monday, March 15, 2004

This President

John F-ing Kerry has a habit of referring to me as "This President" and then following up with a baseless claim. Examples abound:

"This president has created an economy that feeds the special interests..." (says the Senate's number-one recipient of individual campaign contributions from lobbyists...)

"This president has in fact created terrorists where they didn't exist..." (Now I'm a fucking magician?)

"[T]his president has run the most arrogant, inept, reckless and ideological foreign policy in the modern history of our country..." (So, if I was less "inept" maybe North Korea and Syria would have been liberated as well as Iraq and Afghanistan?)

I am taking bets on future "This President" attacks against me by the Senator from Massachusetts. Here are a few possibilities:

"This President has been known to hate his mother, turn down apple pie, and only feign interest in the sport of baseball."

"This President is addicted to re-runs of the Smurfs, and does keg-stands during the commercials."

"This President gets sexually aroused whenever Arafat reaches for another baby-wipe."

"This President cut your taxes, defeated two evil regimes, and has not yet gotten blown by an intern. Uh, and he must be defeated in November!"

This President is about to dry heave.

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