Spending Your Money

I keep hearing people complain about how I'm spending like there's no tomorrow. Well, I've got news for you folks: With my foreign policy, there might not be a tomorrow!

QUEERS

Them folks don't act like normal folks. They like it in the rear. No way I'm gonna allow that to become the norm!

Now, can somebody please tell me why Jenna was dragged out of a black fraternity party with a severe case of rectal bleeding?

Where the %#$& is Rove???

My poll numbers are going down faster than Jenna after a bottle of tequila. Maybe I should announce my adminstration's opposition to the war in Iraq? Or maybe I should resign and run as a humble Southerner who opposes Cheney and the Washington insiders?

Damnit, I just don't know! And all Rove can think of is for me to embarrass myself on "Meet the Press" tomorrow.

Looks like I'll have to resort to running ads that make it look like Willie Horton is John Kerry's running mate...