Saturday, September 07, 2002

The UN

I'll be goin' to the United Nations pretty soon to lay out my case for regime change in Iraq. But my speech will be merely for sound-bite material. The real action will be behind-the-scenes wheeling-and-dealing with France, China, and Russia.

For the French, in return for their vote authorizing an attack, I will offer a case of vintage "Wild Vines" wine, and a three-pound brick of cheddar. The Russians will get a five-billion dolar signing bonus, and a former SSR to be named later. With regards to China, I'm willing to abandon Taiwan, Tibet, and the Falun Gong to their monsterous clutches. Oh, and maybe a farm-quality cocker-spaniel or two, just to ice the deal.

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